Lil’ Miss Homemaker (Sorta)

18 Sep

I’ve never been a Top Chef. In fact, I don’t even really like cooking. But I read The Pioneer Woman’s blog and she is always showing me these fancy-shmancy recipes and I’m all like “heck I could do that,” full well knowing I can’t. And probably shouldn’t. You’ve never seen some of my disasters. scary.

However, since we’ve established before that I am not right in the head, I got this crazy idea last night after reading one of her posts and then seeing chocolate in my fridge that we’ve had since MEMORIAL DAY. Too long.

I decided to make Chocolate Chip Cookie Sweet Rolls and Cinnamon Rolls from scratch. Yes, you read that right. From SCRATCH. Yeah, baby! It just so happened that I had ALL the ingredients minus 4 things. This never happens to me.

It was destined for these rolls and I to be together.

I had dreams of going to do Yoga this morning after preparing the dough (and letting it sit for an hour to rise). Then coming home and humming my way through 30 more minutes of prep work like a sweet lil’ homemaker would.

Didn’t happen.

I started my prep at 9am after over sleeping and not going to yoga. My dough didn’t rise after it sat there for an hour. I went ahead with it anyway. It was terribly sticky and hard to work with. I covered our whole table with flour and borrowed a rolling-pin from our neighbors. The dough stuck to the rolling-pin and kept getting holes in it. I rallied on.

I poured the butter, cinnamon and sugar on the rolled out dough and it started streaming off the dough and onto the table. It was like a water fall. At this point, I dragged Nick into my mess. Why do it alone?

You can even see Nick trying to keep the butter from running off the table! He and Drew were real troopers and cleaned up that whole table for me. After rolling up the Cinnamon one, I realized I forgot to put sugar in them. There was only cinnamon in those suckers. So Nick just sprinkled some sugar over the tops! I was supposed to put them in a baking pan and let it rise for 30 minutes. That didn’t happen either. It was already 11:30am at this point! We hadn’t eaten anything yet. In they went.

RECAP: Nothing is going right at this point

Now, the icing. 2 different icing recipes, actually. One turned out PERFECTLY. What a relief. The other? Not so much. I was supposed to use an electric mixer but seeing as I don’t have one of those, I had to do it by hand. 8oz of cream cheese, 1 stick of butter, powdered sugar, salt, milk, and vanilla. This is impossible to mix by hand. Even for Nick. The end result was that the icing was not thick and had tiny cream cheese chunks floating around. Ugh.

Therefore, we invited Bryan and Sarah DeWire over. Because again, why do this alone?

Cinnamon Rolls

Chocolate Chip Cookie Sweet Rolls

You see the chunks? [That’s probably not the most tasteful word to use, huh. How about bits?] You see the bits of cream cheese? See how it’s all liquidy? Ah, my bane. The Cinnamon rolls got a little burnt on the bottom. But Nick roasted and sugared some almonds to go on them. So neither was perfect like my silly idea at the beginning planned it out to be. Especially since I told everyone we’d be eating by 10am, maybe 11am at the latest. We didn’t even sit down to eat until a little after 12pm! I’m pretty positive this only happens to me. Happy lunching, everyone.

I didn’t particularly enjoy the CCCSR but the Cinnamon ones were fantastic. Now I’m all out of butter and powdered sugar. I’ve had too much butter today. I can feel it creeping around in my fat areas, sticking and laughing at me. Durge. Must. Drink. Water.


6 Responses to “Lil’ Miss Homemaker (Sorta)”

  1. Katie September 18, 2010 at 6:33 pm #

    I give you an A for effort!

  2. Allison September 18, 2010 at 8:03 pm #

    as do I!

  3. Andie September 18, 2010 at 8:28 pm #

    Go Becky Go!
    And here is a hint for rising dough. I learned from Gretchen that it helps to put stuff in the oven to rise (not heated) because it’s less drafty. Also, if you boil a pot or pan of water and then put it on the rack under whatever is rising, this helps immensely.

    Love you lady!

  4. Sarah September 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    They both turned out to taste great! And believe me…such things do not just happen to you. I can’t cook or bake without things winding up all over my kitchen! Clean up always takes longer than the actual cooking or baking process. We must be kindred spirits. :)

    I’m proud of you for making them!

  5. Jeremy Teubert September 24, 2010 at 2:10 pm #

    Dude, Becky, seriously. When we were little mom would make us creep around the house if she had rolls rising because she thought the SOUND of us being, well… boys, would make them fall. So maybe you just have too noisy a house?


  1. Ateco Cake Decorating Syringe Set | Birthday Cake Decorating - September 18, 2010

    […] Lil’ Miss Homemaker (Sorta) « Becky Laparra […]

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