Adoption Update :: Anxiety

11 Aug

I admit it. I’ve been worrying. I’ve been fretting. I’ve been anxious.

Our home study is finished, which is a wonderful thing. We are waiting for money right now. Loans. Grants. Paperwork to process. It is so hard. Patience is a virtue but I’m afraid it isn’t one thing that I’ve learned to have yet. I wish I could say I am doing fantastic with waiting. But you don’t deserve to be lied to.

So we keep waiting. For how long, you ask? I don’t know. There is no time line. Waiting would be so much easier if I knew that birth moms were able to see our profile. If I knew that they were deciding whether Nick and I were the right couple for their child. But no one knows yet! I feel like we’re waiting without a purpose sometimes. I’m trying to put on a happy face about how our adoption process is going, but what I really want to do a lot of the time, is curse, curl up in a ball and cry, or march out for the world to see me and tell everyone I am want my baby!

Please pray for us:

-Please pray that we will raise money.*

-Pray that I won’t pull my hair out.

-Pray that Nick and I will pray for our child, for their birth mom.

-Pray that I won’t bite off your head the next time someone asks me the time frame. (You may ask, I’m just starting to get a bad attitude. Nothin’ personal :) )

-Pray that we will fill our minds with knowledge about trans-racial adoption.

-Pray that our friends will know how to support us emotionally in the days to come.

-Pray that God will be glorified in this adoption.

-Pray that Nick and I will have patience.

-Pray that my anxiety will go away or lessen at least.

Right now, my baby could be being conceived. Or in the womb, growing fingernails, or listening to the world around them as they start to gain their hearing. That absolutely blows me away and brings tears to my eyes. Man…

Nick and I really appreciate the great questions you have asked. And for those of you who have listened to me rant and rave over this, you know who you are, thank you. It honestly makes me really feel like this baby is coming. I feel very, very pregnant right now, although not with baby, with waiting for my baby. I want him/her to be here now. NOW, I say! Ah, Lord God, give me patience.

*If you would like to help us financially or inquire as to our need, you can email me at It would be a wonderful gift. You would be making a huge investment in the life of our child.


One Response to “Adoption Update :: Anxiety”

  1. Jeanea August 12, 2010 at 8:55 am #

    I love you guys. I’m praying for your nerves every day. I know that in this process, prayer isn’t all you need but we’ll do everything we can with what we have to give you. =D
    “…count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: