Because of Fantasia

9 Apr

I have always loved adoption. For as long as I can remember I have wanted 8 kids; 4 of my own and 4 adopted. It didn’t really matter to me their background or race, I just knew that my heart would burst if I couldn’t fill my home with them.

3 years ago I went to Roseland Community “Good News” Day Care in Chicago, IL with Nick and friends. I was absolutely blown away. We played with and helped take of babies for  couple of hours. I was almost ready to leave when I spotted her. She was beautiful, healthy, and perfect. I snatched her up before anyone else could hold her. I snuggled my face in her neck and just swayed back and forth. I felt like I was home. I was holding Fantasia.

She smelled wonderful and she didn’t cry once. It’s almost like she felt home as well. I no longer wanted to leave. There was no need. Nick fell for her as well and pried her away from me.

She fell asleep on my chest while we all sang together for the children. It was all I could do to keep tears from falling from my eyes. I was born to be a mother. It’s a part of my every fiber. It’s screaming at me even now. At that moment I was able to delight in that feeling, if even only for an hour.

I was enjoying holding her when the lady in charge of the daycare, Pearl, told me Fantasia’s story. (It would be beneficial to check out the link to this daycare to understand what it’s all about.)

Her mom had dropped her off that morning and told Pearl she didn’t want her anymore. She was stressed and couldn’t handle precious Fantasia anymore. Pearl tried to talk to her, but the mother left for work. Pearl said if the mother didn’t come back at the end of the day, she would take care of Fantasia as long as she needed too.

I don’t know the end to Fantasia’s story. I don’t know if her mom missed her as much as I wanted to keep her, or if Miss Pearl ended up taking care of her to this day. I cried when we left. I felt like my heart was being broken into pieces. I wanted to keep Fantasia. I wanted to love her and care for her. From that day on, I knew, I wanted my very own African-American baby. There was no hesitation or question. A precious little black baby for my very own. Maybe not even 1, but 2 or 3 or 4.

I pray it will be soon.

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3 Responses to “Because of Fantasia”

  1. Katie April 9, 2010 at 3:27 am #

    I pray you do too!

    • Mom April 9, 2010 at 10:45 am #

      With God ALL things are possible!!

  2. Julane May 3, 2010 at 4:05 pm #

    Oh Becky! I remember her–such a sad story! Those children were absolutely precious; I’m so thankful for Miss Pearl and her ministry. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you and Nick on your journey…. :-)

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