Soft Preztel Recipe

I’m trying to be domesticated. Mainly learning how to cook better, use my ingredients wisely, etc. I post these things on here to keep me accountable and to see my progress. So my friend Sarah DeWire and I made soft pretzels together the other night. And let me tell you…it was uh-maze-ing. She gave me permission to post this wonderful family recipe on here with all of you :)

Things you’ll need:

1 package active dry yeast
1/8 cup warm water
1 1/3 cup warm water
1/3 cup brown sugar
5 cups flour

So simple!

First, dissolve the yeast in 1/8 cup of water. Then add the rest of the water.

Stir in the brown sugar. Then gradually add the flour

It gets tougher to mix by the time you add all the flour. I used a spoon for most of the mixing, then resorted to my hands! Knead the flour (which takes a while, so stay patient!), until it’s in a round ball like this

Now shape it into a long oval, like a loaf of French bread (which is my favorite type of bread, by the way…) and grab a knife

You’ll want to cut slices off the “loaf” that are about 1-1.5 inches in thickness

Now take your slice and begin to roll it into a long snake. Honestly, this part was the hardest for me! The flour on the outside of your slice will make it slippery to work with. So I would put some water on my hands to help it from sliding. And if I’m really honest, I’d tell you that Sarah rolled all of these because I kept failing…

But I’m not that honest so I won’t tell you that. Also, those aren’t my hands. I told Sarah to do this cuz she has the pretty hands. The end.

You should get about 15 of these rolled out. To form the pretzel shape, take your long piece and make a “U”

Then twist the two ends together once,

and then once again,

Now fold the twisted end down,

and then make indents on the end to keep the pretzel together.

your pretzel should look like this

Once all of your pretzels are made, put together a baking soda and water mixture and set it to a low boil on the stove and dip each pretzel completely in.

remove and lay on a pan. repeat. If you soak the pretzels too long, they might have a slight baking soda taste to them, so don’t leave the stove while you’re doing this.

We made one batch without salt and another with salt. Be sure to salt while the pretzels are still slightly wet so that the salt sticks. Then put these in the oven at 475 degrees for around 8-10 minutes. Keep an eye on them. Depending on your oven, they could bake faster than that.

Now pull ‘em out and stuff your face right away! The brown sugar adds a slight sweet flavor to them. My favorite were the salted ones. The sweet and salty taste always does me in. SO good.

You want to eat them, don’t you? It’s ok, go ahead.

Also? They taste great the next day! Hot or cold, but preferably after heating them up a tiny bit in the microwave. I had 2 for breakfast the following morning after making these. Nick almost didn’t get any! I want to make these today. But alas, I have no yeast.

Homemade Soft Pretzels

1 package active dry yeast
1/8 cup warm water (105 degrees)
1 1/3 cup warm water
1/3 cup brown sugar
5 cups flour

1. Dissolve yeast in 1/8 cup of warm water (about 105 degrees).
2. Stir in the rest of the warm water (1 1/3 cups).
3. Stir in brown sugar.
4. Stir in flour, adding gradually until you eventually have to knead it by hand.
5. Knead until all the flour is worked in (you may find that you need a little more or a little less than the 5 cups) and the dough is no longer sticky.
6. Once the dough is ready to be worked with (no longer sticky), form it into the shape of a long loaf of french bread.
7. Cut portions or “slices” out of the whole “loaf” at about a 1-1 ½  inch size.
8. Take one portion at a time (this is where the whole family can get involved) and roll it out into a long snake. Once it’s long enough (somewhere around 1 ½ to 2 feet long), place it on the table in a “U” shape. Twist the two ends around each other twice. Then fold them down so that the ends (past the twists) are sitting on the bottom of the pretzel (looking at a picture of a pretzel may help here). Use your fingers to push down/indent on the two spots where the ends cross the bottom.
9. Dip pretzels in baking soda/water combination (4 tbsp baking soda in 2 cups water) kept at a low boil on the stove and place on cookie sheet.
10. Bake at 475 degrees for 8-10 minutes (depends greatly on your oven…when we did it the other night we only had to leave them in for about 4-6 minutes, so keep a close eye on them).

Yields about 15-17 pretzels in one batch

Adoption update :: Inside my heart 3 weeks later

It’s been 3 weeks since our adoption fell through. Honestly, it feels so much longer than that. An eternity perhaps. I’ve had a lot of time to think. To pray. To vent. And even cry. I look in our baby room and wonder if it will ever be filled with the scent of our child, the sound of our child. I even woke up last night thinking I heard a baby crying. Of course, I didn’t really.

In the time we’ve been home, so many friends have blessed us with a comforting silence as I talked and talked. Or with meals and laughter. Almost every time, they want to hear the story. And we tell it. Sometimes, it takes all my will power not to cry. Other times, I smile thinking about how far we’ve come. Sometimes I’m shocked to realize that this story we’re telling, it’s ours. I never thought I would own such a strong, heart-breaking, powerful, God-exalting story. But I do now. It feels like a huge responsibility. One that I pray I use wisely.

My heart still hurts. I pray for that little girl. I pray that she is being loved and well taken care of. For the birth mother, I pray that she is getting rest and being taught how to be a good mother to her daughter. Mostly though, I don’t grieve over that little girl. She is being taken care of and I am so thankful for that.

I grieve because of the loss of a dream, a hope. I was almost a mother. Motherhood was so close I had it in my arms and then it was whisked away. There was nothing I could do to grab it back. I couldn’t fight for it no matter how hard I wanted to try. Twice within 14 months this had happened to me. I still don’t know why. I often wonder if I will ever know. That first week I believe I was in legitimate shock. There were no emotions. Just, deadness. The second week, I was feeling it. Looking at our baby stuff was painful. Seeing babies was painful. This third week was harder. My birthday came and went and I still was not a mother like I had been dreaming I would. I cried a lot that day. And hearing babies crying at night? Yeah, that freaks me out. Dreaming about my child is slightly less freaky but has also happened.

I hadn’t realized this until a friend pointed it out to me, but I am reading a lot lately. And I’ve been staying up super late. Super late being 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. I love reading, but when I obsessively read, it’s because I’m dodging from stress and pain. When I stay up so late, same reason. I’m not hiding from reality, I just need a respite from it all. I look back, and realize I read a whole book in the waiting room before meeting the birth mother about why she wanted to keep the baby. A whole book! I’ve read 4 or 5 books since then. And I haven’t gone to bed early one night since coming home. I need to remedy that.

So for those of you who have been wondering how I am dealing with my emotions and such, my answer is: I cry at random times, always alone. I am reading like a mad-man. I’m staying up ridiculously late. It’s how I deal. I’m not blaming God. He’s been my rock. My love. I can not even wait to see what He has for Nick and I in the future. Obviously, I’m not liking His time frame (which is non-existent), but that doesn’t mean I’m not trusting. I would have nothing if not for my faith. Nick has been a wonderful husband to me. Marley keeps me laughing and is like the baby I don’t have (scoff if you want, but seriously, I think he knows that I’ve needed him). I couldn’t ask for better friends. Oh man, I am so blessed by them. And sometimes, I am just very happy and ready to party all night long!

We still need prayer. Adoption is not easy. But it’s the road we’re on and one we will stay on til the journey is over or until God leads us a different way.

us on my birthday. happy, in love, waiting, and trusting.

It’s my birthday :)

Today was my 23rd birthday. I knew it would be great but I didn’t realize how much so!

1. My husband wrote the most amazing blog post about me. He makes me feel all warm inside.

2. My small group girls (Allison, Katie, Sarah, and Carrie) surprised me with breakfast at iHop!

3. Nick gave me 3 different presents. All wonderful

4. Orison and Morrow Piper called me to sing Happy Birthday. My heart melted.

5. I got some AMAZING deals at Yankee candle. Now my house will smell like my mom’s :)

6. I watched “The Ring” with Nick. I didn’t get scared. :(

7. Nick and I went to Red Lobster! oh yum…

8. Andrew, Stefan, and Tristan made me this “so awesome I can’t even take it” video singing happy birthday to me.

9. Some of our small group friends came over to eat birthday cake (made by Katie Burns!), chocolate covered pretzels, and watch Mulan!

10. Marley was terribly cute ALL day long. Not a surprise. haha

I am so blessed, you guys. All of the birthday wishes, love and prayers from you just absolutely made my day. Thanks for making me feel special today. It felt really good.

Adoption Update :: When it fails…

I’m not writing today to introduce
you to my sweet little girl. I thought I would be. I’m not going to
tell you the name we had picked out, as it isn’t her name anymore
and we’ll use it again…someday. She has a new name now. And a
family that loves her. And me? I’m picking up the pieces of myself
that I’ve strewn along this long path. Sewing them back together
and moving on toward the next journey. I haven’t cried yet. That
kinda scares me. I’m sure the flood gates will open soon. She was
precious. My mind wandered so far down into the future that I’m
still struggling to bring it back to the “now.”

Is this unfair? Am I angry? No and
no. I don’t deserve to be a mother. And how can I be angry when I
wanted that child just as much as she did? I didn’t have 9 months
to bond and love her. But that mother did, and her heart yearned.
There are a lot of levels to the story of our time with our birth
family, but I think they are better left unsaid. But I’m
embarrassed to come home after all this time without a child.
Devastated that it turned out this way. I hurt badly. I will soon
cry.

Jesus is my
fortress. He knows what I need. There is another child out there
that I am supposed to love, care, and nurture. My flesh cries out
“I’ll never get to be a mother!” and “When will it be
my turn?” But I know. I
know. What we just went through wasn’t for
naught. Nick told me today to think about how many people we will
be able to help now. The trials we go through make us stronger and
able to care for others that go through the same thing. While I
wish this had never happened and it feels like a bad trade, I know
it’s true.

Nick has
been a great comfort to me, and I hope I have been one to him as
well. I wish that he didn’t have to go through this. I wouldn’t
wish a failed adoption on anyone. But our marriage is being
strengthened. Our love is strong. Our relationships with people
have been out of this world.

Most of all, I have been astounded by
the many, many
prayers that have gone out for us. I am overwhelmed by the love of
people I don’t even know! You all have been a great source of
comfort and have given me the will and desire to move on. I don’t
think I can fully recover from a loss like this. Especially after
seeing the baby we thought would be ours. But it’s becoming doable.
Thank you for loving Nick and I so fully. We do love and appreciate
you as well. Keep praying for us. There are rough days ahead. But
also glorious ones. We press on.